"WAG THE KID"

by Richard C. Jaffeson

.

.

.

__________________________________________

                           F A M E   F O R U M 

                           N E W S L E T T E R

                   N A T I O N A L   W O M E N 'S
          B A S E B A L L   H A L L   O F   F A M E

                    National Syndicated Column
                       (contents are protected)
   Copyrights(c), NWB Hall of Fame, 1998-2003
TXU877085, TXU959430, TXU973266, TXU013972,
TXU986753, TXU949885, TXU004037, TXU022893,
TXU026161, TXU047111, TXU050230, TXU151901.
                          Issue Number 00211

__________________________________________
 
Volume VI, Number 05                   Publisher and Author
February 10, 2003                               Richard C. Jaffeson
Washington, DC                             HallFame@usa.com

                 http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame
__________________________________________

.

COLUMN:  WAG THE KID
                    by Richard C. Jaffeson
 

"Remember the Alamo! or Remember the Maine!" those
were great in their day, and catchy, too.  Often considered
to be classic, certainly they were more memorable than,
"Revenge Fort Sumter! or The Day of Infamy!"

Every conflict or operation should have at least one,
or maybe two, but terms such as "infamy" and "dastardly"
were confusing, too reflective of Hyde Park.  Today this
has to be very basic, comprised of three or four words
that are easily understood.  Good slogans must fit neatly
on signs and stay in their minds.  They shouldn't have to
go running for the dictionary.

And, what else?  I speculated, "Kept the World Safe for
Democracy!  Don't Change Horses...,  Be Uncle Sam...,
Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too," who recalls any of those?

"No Taxation Without Representation!" that was barely
acceptable, and not exactly a rallying cry for freedom.
And, even today the DC license plate has it wrong.

I need two or three good lines for the bumper stickers,
uniform patches, and lapel buttons.  Nothing too fancy,
they should be readily recognizable, right to the point,
with an attractive design, and something that would make
people proud, and of course, they should remember.

The phone rang.  I checked the identification display,
and the absence of any numbers told me where it was from.
"Hey, you guys," I said aloud, "I'm working on it!"



"Do you recognize this voice?!  You need only say 'yes.'"
the familiar resonating tone was immediately discernable;
it was crisp, clear, and military sounding.  Although I
could not see him, I instantly visualized a stately office
a few miles away, instinctively looked due south orienting
myself to 16th Street, and my response was as requested.

"He wants you here in 15 minutes.  Yes, the hour is late,
it's unavoidable.  This is the only open window when we
could squeeze you in, on the back-burner, nobody else is
around, and there are many other much higher priorities.
We want your game plan on 'that project' outlined before
sunrise.  We want to review it before anything happens.
We can't officially be involved, it will be implemented
independently, but it must be acceptable.  You know his
concern on this subject, but you can't draw references to
us in this matter.  There must be no direct implications.
'Wayside' will handle you.  And, you know that you can
never tell anyone.  Nobody can recount this story, ever.
What is about to occur will and has never happened."

There was a pause in the directive, I said nothing, which
meant I understood.  He continued, "I sent Bresnahan, and
he'll be there momentarily.  You worked with his wife in
the 1970's at the planning commission.  Tonight you'll be
Mr. Green, if anyone asks.  Got it!"

This time I didn't have a chance to reply.  Suddenly the
telephone became silent, there was not even a click, but
I sensed there was no longer a connection.  I pressed the
dial button twice, the activation light glowed red, but
the line remained ghostly quiet.  There was a sharp knock
on the front porch glass door, which I proceeded to open
after replacing the receiver.

We looked closely at each other, nodded in recognition,
but didn't say a word.  I grabbed a shirt and shoes, and
slid into the back seat of the gray van.

"Last I heard you were in Palm Springs with Ford, but
that was many years ago.  Back on a downtown detail, huh?"
I inquired as he drove along 2nd Avenue and turned south.

"Yes, a very long time ago." he replied and reminded me.
"Nothing personal, you know, just a quick trip."

I understood, settled deeply into my seat, and stared in
lonely detachment out the mirrored window unaccustomed
to watching scenery instead of the road along this route.
In the stillness past midnight, we traveled this corridor,
something I've done for more than thirty years at many
different hours for a variety of reasons.  Those memories
were floating out there, never to vanish, always ready to
visually reappear.

This night will be added to those collective experiences.
It's the same street, no different, nothing changes in the
darkness and surrounding night, time remains ageless, and
produces reassurance.  There are no surprises.

The lights from Carter Barron sparkled through the window,
and I could see my reflection from within.

Bresnahan drove fast and unimpeded, there was no traffic
at that hour, and it seemed that all the lights were green.
"This is still a small town." I quietly said to myself.

Perhaps, because of the destination, or maybe it was the
driver who reminded me of the 1970's, I thought about
Watergate and Colette.  Her mom's dress shop was below
the old DNC office, and Henry her dad managed the complex.
"If it wasn't for the tape," I whispered, "not the one in
the Oval Office, the one on the garage door entrance..."
I knew that door, it was where Colette had her personal
parking space.  One piece of tape, it changed history.

We already raced across Columbia Road, Florida Avenue,
and emerged from under Dupont Circle.  Lafayette Square
was in sight when Bresnahan shifted over to 17th Street,
took a short-cut under that old gingerbread building,
and stopped at a private entrance.  Anyone else doing
that would have certainly been arrested.

"This is as far as I go," he instructed me as he placed
the van in park.  "Time to pass you off.  Ask for lower
level three, someone inside will escort you."  He looked
back for a split-second, "You'll find that it's not the
best room, but at least you're here.  I wish you well."

Immediately, I walked quickly towards the light from an
open door and could see a figure watching me approach.
At certain times it's best to remain quiet, and follow
instructions exactly, especially on this occasion.

"'Wayside' is waiting," was the perfunctory greeting.
"Please, follow me."  We proceeded down a corridor and
six flights of half stairs.  I entered the room.



"Sit down and listen carefully." 'Wayside' pointed to
a chair at the small conference table and began without
any introductions.

"This is a bothersome issue that requires resolution,
it is one of many internal incidents that need to be
addressed, that is to say, corrected.  One at a time!
This is a minor skirmish on the domestic front, which
is part of their image reversal and damage campaign.
They have stolen a national icon, an American hero,
based on false indoctrination.  He must be returned.
This is more than a matter of principle, he knew the
subject personally when he first managed the Rangers."

"Eagles," I muttered.

"What?" 'Wayside' was startled.

"It is from, 'I, Claudius,'" I explained.  "Augustus
needed to recapture two eagle commander batons which
were symbols of Roman tradition and authority.  And,
at the conclusion of one episode, he stormed around
the palace loudly proclaiming, 'Where are my eagles?
Bring back my eagles!'  Clearly, one of our 'eagles'
was captured, and is continuously degraded by being
frozen and stored upside-down."

"Good analogy!" he agreed.  "In a more comprehensive
manner, national security issues and military actions
will eventually affect numerous cultural and ethical
misalignments.  Those serious security threats are not
perceptional but permanent conditions which will unify
the country and emphasize characteristics of individual
strength, responsibility, commitment, and perseverance.
However, in this case, we need a surgical adjustment."

"This circumstance," 'Wayside' continued, "was brought
about by deliberate misinformation and manipulation,
and they targeted as a surrogate, John Henry Williams."

'Wayside' anxiously paced around the small meeting room,
while biting on an unlit cigar.  He made an inaudible
comment about not being able to smoke.  "We cannot allow
him to remain frozen and upside-down in Arizona.  Here's
the description of what they did to him."  He passed me
a medical statement, which I scanned.


"...it was coated in a glycerin-based solution,
cooled under dry ice, gradually lowered into
a pool of liquid nitrogen until it reached a
temperature of -206.5C, and stored upside-down
in a silver tube."


He raised his voice, although he didn't have to convince
me of anything.  "They call him 'it' now!  Unacceptable!
Frozen like a popsicle!"  He sat down again and attempted
to regain his composure.  "You know his accomplishments,
and lifetime record.  This treatment and condition cannot
continue, and Bobby Jo just exhausted her court appeals.
What are your plans?  OK, speak to me..."

"My turn at bat!" I thought and began, "The objective is
to have him released from Alcor Life Extension in Arizona
into Bobby Jo's custody, the eldest daughter, for a proper
ceremony and final arrangements in accordance with his Will
executed in 1996.  He must be returned and have his body
dealt with in a respectable and honorable manner befitting
his position and accomplishments.  If additional medical
procedures are required, I suggest Bethesda, since he was
a Navy pilot in World War II and Korea."

"The Alcor facility is protected and continuously guarded.
Forceful intervention is not an option; the repercussions
from which would be highly negative and self-defeating."

"Here's what I propose." and I started to outline several
strategies and supportive items.

"The Attorney General of Arizona should initiate an
investigation of Alcor under the Consumer Fraud Act to
leverage his release.  The fraud act is A.R.S.§ 44-1521
through 44-1534, administered by the Attorney General's
office."  I presented 'Wayside' a copy of the act.


"Consumer Fraud Act of Arizona"

"Consumer fraud, as defined by Arizona law, is any
deception, false statement, false pretense, false
promise or misrepresentation made by a seller or
advertiser of merchandize.  In addition, concealment,
suppression or failure to disclose a material fact
may be consumer fraud if it is done with the intent
that others rely on such concealment, suppression or
nondisclosure.  Merchandise may include any objects,
wares, goods, commodities, intangibles, real estate
or services."  A.R.S.§ 44-1521 through 44-1534


"Alcor is not offering a burial service, it claims to be
a medical operation designed to restore deceased frozen
individuals to life and health at a future date.  The
cost is from $50,000 to $120,000.  Here's the statement
from their website."  I handed 'Wayside' another card.


"Alcor Life Extension"

"Cryonics, simply stated, is the rapid cooling
of a person’s body, usually in liquid nitrogen,
in order to preserve the tissue, cellular and
molecular structure in the hopes that future
advancements in science and technology will be
developed to allow Alcor the scientific means
to repair the ravages of diseases like cancer,
Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, the effects of aging;
thereby potentially restoring the individual
back to good health."


"This is unproven." I continued.  "No one can be revived
once they are deceased and frozen in such a manner."

"Correct, it seems reasonable this is an expensive hoax."
'Wayside' interjected.  "How are you going to convince
the state's Attorney General to initiate a case?"

"This case would provide national exposure, and he may
have an interest in a future political career, perhaps
as Governor or a Senator." I suggested.

"Also, through the media and internet we can encourage
the general public and baseball fans to email and write
the Attorney General.  We need a campaign and slogans.
I'm working on it!"

"Who is the Arizona Attorney General?" 'Wayside' asked.

"Terry Goddard, and here is the contact information."
I passed 'Wayside' an identification card with a photo.


Terry Goddard, Attorney General
Office of the Arizona Attorney General
1275 West Washington Street
Phoenix, AZ  85007

800-352-8431
ag.inquiries@ag.state.az.us


"I'll provide the text of a basic message which anyone
can email or mail to his office.  The statements should
be phrased in a positive manner designed to encourage
the correction of this situation.  The Attorney General
could become a national celebrity who will save a real
American hero.  This story has everything, it's a tale
of restoration, redemption, and recognition."

I showed 'Wayside' a draft of the message.  Anyone can
copy, paste, and send this note.


To: "Terry Goddard" <ag.inquiries@ag.state.az.us>
Fr: "Sender Name"
Re: "Save Ted Williams, Investigate Alcor"

"I encourage you, through your good office,
to investigate Alcor Life Extension located
in Scottsdale, AZ, and consider enforcement
of the state's Consumer Fraud Act in order
to secure the release of Ted Williams' body,
one of America's greatest heroes."

"Space for additional comments..."



"OK, but we will need more clout." 'Wayside' commented.

"I'm getting to that next." I explained.  "There are
11 major league teams that hold spring training in
Arizona, plus the Diamondbacks.  Those 11 teams should
boycott spring training in that state until this issue
is resolved.  He was their colleague, a great baseball
player, and it's time to unite and obtain the release
of this American hero!"

"Baseball teams have gone to many different locations
for spring training.  In World War II, the Landis Line
kept the teams north of the Potomac and east of the
Mississippi Rivers, except for Saint Louis.  In 1947,
Branch Rickey took the Dodgers to Havana."

"I'm suggesting a boycott of the Cactus League until
our hero is released, except the Diamondbacks because
it is their state.  The Angels, Athletics, Giants,
Mariners, Padres, and Rangers have acceptable weather
at home fields.  The Brewers, Cubs, Rockies, Royals,
and White Soxs, could consider alternative sites in
Texas or Florida."

"If they named the All-Star Game MVP Award after him,"
I concluded, "then teams and players should consider
adjusting their schedules to fully respect his memory,
and support the proper arrangements for his remains
to be dealt with respect and dignity."

"Here are some additional suggestions" and I passed a
list to 'Wayside.'


1. "Encourage Arizona baseball fans to picket Alcor."

2. "Prepare promotional items, --bumper stickers,
    uniform patches, lapel buttons, helmet emblems,
    window decals, display ribbons, and arm bands
    with slogans for baseball players and fans."

3. "Imprint slogans on promotional items, such as,
   'Thaw the Thumper' or 'Free the Splinter.'"

4. "Design a website to post information, identify
    contacts, market promotional items, and include
    a signature page to solicit support."


"Furthermore," I continued not missing a beat, "I have
a draft speech for the Governor of Florida to deliver
to the American people.  After all he was a citizen of
Florida, it was his last state of residence, official
final documents were filed on his behalf there, and
indirectly you could encourage such participation."
I read the following.


"406 Speech for the Governor of Florida"

"Over the past two years our nation has faced tremendous
difficulties.  Great armies are on the march to secure
our freedom and way of life.  At all levels, throughout
the government, armed forces, and as citizens; we must
be vigilant and do what we can to protect our country."

"Even at home there are groups at work to deliberately
destroy our symbols of strength and cultural traditions.
One of our great American heroes from the Sunshine State,
recently deceased in July 2002, has been subjected to
such a personal attack and subterfuge.  And, he can no
longer defend himself."

"He was one of the greatest baseball players that ever
lived.  He earned the respect of all Americans with his
skills and records, many of which still stand."

"In 1941, he achieved the highest season batting average
of .406, and during his lifetime earned two Triple Crowns
and twice received American League MVP Awards.  Last year
the All-Star Game MVP Award was named in his honor."

"When he retired in the autumn of 1960, he was third on
the career homerun list at that time, after Babe Ruth
and Jimmie Foxx.  When his baseball career concluded,
he selected Florida as his home."

"Of course, I'm referring to the great Ted Williams."

"But, today, after a painful struggle with heart and
kidney ailments, and a series of debilitating strokes,
the remains of this great man, an outstanding sports
figure in American history; today his 83 year old body
is rigidly frozen and inverted in a test tube device
at a laboratory in Scottsdale, Arizona."

"This lab claims one day his body will be defrosted
and become healthy and alive again."

"Nothing can be further from the truth.  The technology
associated with this, I can assure you, is unproven."

"This, my friends must be corrected, and Ted Williams'
body must be released and treated with proper respect
and dignity.  I have already contact my colleague, the
Governor of Arizona to facilitate our efforts in order
to return Ted Williams' remains to his eldest daughter,
Barbara Joyce 'Bobby Jo' Williams Ferrell.  And, I will
personally contact all of the Williams immediate family
to encourage the positive resolution of this matter."

"Don't worry Bobby Jo, your father's memory will be
preserved, and his remains properly reclaimed."

"Courage Bobby Jo, he will again receive his rightful
place as a true American baseball hero."

"I can assure you Bobby Jo, that we will do everything
we can to help your father, to 'Save Ted Williams.'"

"May God bless Ted Williams, and God bless America!"



'Wayside' was standing at this point during the speech
with both arms crossed.  Uncustomarily, he was slow to
speak and break the silence.

"OK, you have convinced me.  This is not complicated,
and it has potential.  Cut back on the promotional items.
I like the arm bands, similar to ones used in mourning,
an appropriate touch.  Go with the buttons and one decal
that could be affixed to any object.  I want to read
the final '406 Speech' beforehand, and also review the
website prior to activation."

"A good plan today," he concluded, "is better than a
perfect one tomorrow."

"Oh, one more thought," he added, "Everyone seems to
need a cause during their lifetime, something to be
proud of and active in to give them hope and a purpose
for life.  This can become a real cause for millions
of Americans.  We need to generate more issues like
this one, but first we must, 'Save Ted Williams!'"


__________________________________________

  NATIONAL WOMEN'S BASEBALL HALL OF FAME
             Richard C. Jaffeson, Executive Director
     PO Box 15282, Chevy Chase, Maryland  20825

                           HallFame@USA.com
                  http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame

         "National Women's Baseball Hall of Fame"
         is a registered trade name with the State
         of Maryland.  MD672265, October 19, 1998.

         Programs, articles, and contents presented
         herein are protected under provisions of the
         U.S. Copyright Office, Library of Congress.
         Fame Forum registrations are listed below:

TXU877085, TXU959430, TXU973266, TXU013972,
TXU986753, TXU949885, TXU004037, TXU022893,
 TXU026161, TXU047111, TXU050230, TXU151901.

       Copyrights(c), NWB Hall of Fame, 1998-2003
___________________________________________