"VINNY, VIDI, VICI"

by Richard C. Jaffeson

.

.

.

__________________________________________

                           F A M E   F O R U M 

                           N E W S L E T T E R

                   N A T I O N A L   W O M E N 'S
          B A S E B A L L   H A L L   O F   F A M E

                    National Syndicated Column
                       (contents are protected)
   Copyrights(c), NWB Hall of Fame, 1998-2005
TXU877085, TXU959430, TXU973266, TXU013972,
TXU986753, TXU949885, TXU004037, TXU022893,
TXU026161, TXU047111, TXU050230, TXU061149,
TXU088068, TXU120937, TXU148132, TXU163784,
           TXU170668, TXU196853, TXU1211917.

                          Issue Number 00294

__________________________________________
 
Volume VIII, Number 05               Publisher and Author
February 1, 2005                             Richard C. Jaffeson
Washington, DC                             HallFame@usa.com

                 http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame
__________________________________________

.

COLUMN:  VINNY, VIDI, VICI
                    by Richard C. Jaffeson
 

"What on earth are you wearing in my courtroom?" the judge
sternly demanded and disapprovingly scowled from atop his
prestigious platform towering above the legal proceedings
at the visiting counselor who had arrived from out-of-state
that day as scheduled to present and support his petition.

"Ah, excuse me...?" was the surprised response upon hearing
the unanticipated opening remark from the bench.

"I am referring to your unacceptable attire," he pointed
two fingers and symbolically traced in the air an outline
of a dark leather jacket, turtle-neck shirt without a tie,
black stretch jeans, and high motorcycle boots which the
petitioning attorney was wearing. "What do you call that?"

"I call these my clothes, sir," was the reply in disbelief.

"There are two things I expect in my courtroom," the judge
ceremoniously stated. "First, you will understand procedures
applicable to this special case in Maricopa County, Arizona.
Second, you will appear before this court in a respectable,
dignified, and 'lawyerly' fashion.  If you do not conduct
yourself accordingly on those two points, I will hold you
in contempt of court.  Is that understood?"

"Sure, OK, right!" the attorney stammered. "Tonight I'll
buy a new suit, just for you, and wear it tomorrow."

"Very well," the judge was pleased whereby establishing his
authority and prerogatives. "Therefore, I will proceed with
this private hearing regarding the current disposition and
potential release of one Theodore Samuel Williams who was
deceased at age 83 on July 5, 2002.  Your petition is for
release of the remains of said individual into custody of
Mark Ferrell, husband of the eldest daughter, in order to
execute provisions of his Last Will and Testament of 1996.
Is that correct?"

"There are extenuating circumstances related to this case..."
the visiting counselor began, but the judge interrupted.

"A simple 'yes' or 'no' answer would suffice at this point,
officially for the record, thus enabling me to commence this
hearing.  I thought you understood our courtroom procedures?"
the judge reminded him.

"Yes, sir, I do," was the reply. "The simple answer is 'yes'
to your statement and question."

"Fine, that's much better, then we do understand each other,"
the judge continued. "You have submitted a request for this
release based upon several statements which I have reviewed
and will comment on prior to rendering a decision.  I remind
you that this pronouncement is non-binding.  Since this is
not a criminal proceeding, beyond a reasonable doubt is not
the measure, however similar to a civil matter there should
be a preponderance of evidence for justification."

The judge again looked sternly at both litigators, and the
remainder of the room was empty for this closed proceeding,
except for a county bailiff and court reporter.

He again continued, "If any clarification is needed, I may
have additional questions as we proceed.  In support of the
status quo, I assume unfriendly to this release, is a legal
representative of the cryonics firm at which the subject is
currently contained.  There will be opportunities for each
of you to respond to my inquiries, but I remind you it will
be when asked to do so.  Outbursts will not be tolerated."

"I will start with background information and follow with
submitted statements." The judge opened a large notebook
with files representing items under consideration.

"This event commenced the afternoon of July 5, 2002 with
death occurring at Citrus Memorial Hospital in Florida due
to congestive heart failure and complications from stroke.
The deceased was 83 years old." The judge read information
from the jacket of the notebook and added, "He would have
been 84 the following month on August 30."

"I believe we agree upon those facts," the judge glared at
the two litigators, and did not expect a response.

"After death occurred, and prior to a funeral and ceremony
which were not conducted, at the behest of the only son the
subject's body was treated with a blood thinner and packed
in dry ice at the hospital, and flown by chartered airplane
to the cryonics firm in Arizona.  The deceased was a Florida
resident, and succumbed to death for reasons just indicated
at a hospital within that state." The judge carefully raised
an eyebrow to determine if there were any objections.

He turned to the first folder and continued, "On or about
the evening of Friday, July 5 and during Saturday, July 6,
the deceased upon arrival in Arizona was then subjected to
cryonics treatment."

"From the cryonics firm's statements and on its website,"
the judge elaborated upon the basic concept and quoted,
"'Cryonics is the science of using ultra-cold temperature
to preserve human life with the intent of restoring good
health when technology becomes available to do so.' It is
also stated that, 'Cryonics is not an interment method,
mortuary practice, or dead tissue preservation.'"

"In other words," the judge rephrased the apparent intent,
"at some time in the future, deceased individuals subject to
cryonics should be revived, repaired, and restored to life."

"However," he extrapolated, "there is no evidence this has
yet been accomplished or undertaken."

"I have reviewed numerous pages of the firm's descriptions
on treatment procedures.  I will summarize the process in
layman's terms; the deceased's bodily fluids are replaced,
the head is surgically removed from the body, and segments
are gradually cooled in two separate sealed stainless-steel
containers to approximately -200 degrees C.  In order to
attain that final temperature, it may take two weeks, but
from that point the process becomes primarily a matter of
monitoring and maintaining those conditions."

"As of this date in 2005, the cost for whole body treatment
is $150,000 allocated in parts: $70,000 cryonics suspension,
$65,000 patient care trust, and $15,000 comprehensive member
standby; and neurosuspension is only $80,000 allocated in
parts: $40,000, $25,000, and $15,000 for the same categories,
respectively.  As I have learned, neurosuspension retains
the head only for those who in the future anticipate entire
tissue regeneration for the remainder of their body."

"As I understand this situation," he summarized, "the subject
received whole body treatment, and the remains currently are
stored at the cryonics firm in two separate stainless-steel
containers at approximately -200 degrees C."

"I also reviewed related news articles which reported this
condition, one in the Arizona Republic dated July 12, 2002,
and another in Sports Illustrated August 13, 2003.  Thus,
there is little doubt about his condition and whereabouts."

The judge paused and collected his thoughts.  He carefully
selected his words, "Before proceeding further, I offer the
following observations, although I am not a medical expert.
The subject was legally pronounced dead July 5, 2002, and
afterwards in this procedure his spinal cord was severed,
head removed, and remains are stored in liquid nitrogen in
extreme cold at about -200 degrees C.  It is most doubtful,
as a preponderance of evidence suggests, life could ever be
restored under these circumstances."

"Legal judgements," he indicated, "must be made based upon
current conditions and prevailing practices.  Speculation
such that, at some future unspecified date using cryonics,
human life could be restored is just that, speculation and
conjecture; it is practically unsound, medically unproven,
and legally indefensible."

"However, assuming for a moment this could be accomplished,
from either a religious and/or secular perspective, I ask,
where would the necessary 'spark of life' originate?"

"Furthermore, I ask, who would be returning and from where?"
the judge inquired, but did not expect a response. "If one
believes in resurrection or reincarnation, this represents
a significant theological issue.  Many religions would not
permit cryonics treatment.  From their perspective, this is
a secular pseudo-scientific substitution for the hereafter,
and in that scenario God does not conduct resurrection."

"These are ancillary observations, and are not within the
purview of this courtroom and hearing," he added. "As for
the technical claims of cryonics, I understand the state's
Attorney General's office has been already been petitioned
to determine if this treatment is in fact consumer fraud,
which is another matter."

"Issues for consideration here are not medical or religious,
but based upon the current disposition and potential release
of Theodore Samuel Williams," the judge carefully reiterated.
"The purpose of this hearing is to determine whether or not
placement of the deceased occurred in a legitimate manner, and
whether or not the subject should so remain or be released.
There are two documents to be considered."

"The subject's Last Will and Testament dated December 26, 1996
was properly prepared and authorized in the State of Florida.
As I noted earlier, Florida represented the state of residence
and where termination occurred.  This Will specified cremation
with ashes to be spread across the waters off Islamorada in
the Florida Keys along with those of Slugger his Dalmatian."

"Justification for cryonics placement, counter to the 1996 Will,
was made by a hand-written piece of paper allegedly signed by
the deceased on November 2, 2000 at Shands Hospital in Florida
prior to undergoing surgery for a pacemaker, the authenticity
of which has been challenged by others.  The hand-written note
reads as follows."

 "'JHW, Claudia, and Dad all agree To be Put into Bio-Stasis
  after we Die.  This is what we want, To be able To be
  Together in the Future, even it is only a chance.'"

"This hand-written note was prepared by the subject's only son.
I have studied it carefully, and have not based my judgement on
whether it is, or is not, authentic."

"I am also aware the subject's best friends, Frank Brothers and
George Carter, indicated that at least one of them was with the
deceased for the entire time, 24 hours in the hospital room on
November 2, and saw no opportunity for such a note to be signed."

"I reiterate this is a hand-written note used to counter the
original 1996 Will as the justification for cryonics placement.
As such, this is referred to as a Holographic Will, and there
are two points to consider in this regard."

"First, a Holographic Will must be entirely hand-written by a
testator, the individual for whom it is intended.  In this case,
it was allegedly signed by the subject, and wording was not his
own but prepared by the son."

"Second, in the State of Florida, according to the Florida Code
Section 732.501-502, Holographic Wills are not valid.  Twenty
states permit such Wills and Florida does not.  In states that
do permit Holographic Wills, they serve as expedient measures,
and should be immediately incorporated into any existing Will
to become part of the legal document.  This hand-written note
was not incorporated into the existing Will, and materialized
some time after cryonics treatment."

"In summary, the 1996 Will specifies a funeral, ceremony, and
cremation in Florida.  A Holographic Will is invalid in Florida,
regardless of its authenticity or stipulations."

"Furthermore, as revealed in December 2004 to family attorney
John Heer, the contracts for placement and treatment with the
cryonics firm in Arizona were prepared postmortem on July 5 and
July 26, 2002.  They were never signed by Ted Williams, since
he was already deceased."

"I see both of you have been exceptionally quiet, most unusual
in my experience with litigators, however I am about to render
judgement in this matter, based upon the Wills and contracts."
The judge paused momentarily to ensure their attention.

"The subject should be released and returned to Florida in the
same manner in which he was taken by airplane to Ocala Airport,
and then should be transferred to an appropriate family member,"
he concluded. "What say you counselor for the cryonics firm?"

"As you have indicated in your opening remarks, this hearing
is non-binding," the opposing attorney responded. "Although
these statements could be incorporated into other proceedings,
my client is not under any obligation to abide by your rulings.
We have custody of the patient, our term for this individual,
and plan to maintain and proceed with the cryonics procedure.
We see no compelling reasons to do otherwise."

The judge said nothing, but nodded to the visiting attorney
in anticipation of his comments.

"I see, hmmm, this means I traveled all this great distance
and prepared allll these statements for absolutely nothing.
You apparently believe it is unnecessary to comply with the
judge's rulings.  You apparently believe I cannot obtain a
court order to secure his release.  You apparently believe
your client can cheerfully continue this cryonics practice.
Well, I'm not so certain, this isn't anyone who is frozen,
this was Ted Williams!"

"Now we are all members of the bar, the noble profession of
litigators, let us reason together." the visiting attorney
changed his tone and moved closer to his colleague.

"Let me see if I have this correct," he began, "I petitioned
for his release, and you countered and claimed he should stay.
This is exactly the way it should work, there is an offer and
then it is countered.  And, now I should make a counter-offer.
OK, here's what I'll do, it's called the Aswan Dam strategy."

"The what?" the judge immediately inquired for he had never
heard that phrase before. "What did you say?"

"Sure, I do this all the time in liability cases, and it's highly
effective to ensure cooperation.  The phrase comes from
the Israeli government.  They no longer have to worry about
an unexpected attack from Egypt, because the Israelis made it
perfectly clear if that occurred the ensuring flood caused by
one conventional bomb on the Aswan Dam would devastate
Egypt, it would be of Biblical proportions.  From that day on,
they peacefully achieve resolutions with each other."

"This case is simple, we request the release of one person.
If the firm agrees and does so, it can continue with their
business with 50 or 60 other 'patients,' whatever they wish
to be called and however this treatment may be conducted."

"Where is the Aswan Dam?" the opposing attorney inquired.

"Yes, I'd be fascinated in knowing," the judge concurred.

"I was just getting to that, you see if your client doesn't
release the remains of Ted Williams, there is another minor
matter of insurance fraud."

"Apparently, the cryonics firm recommends 'patients' obtain
life insurance to finance the $150,000 necessary to engage
in treatment.  Life insurance is paid only when a person is
deceased, yet cryonics claims restoration of life.  I find
this contradictory, and so will the federal government and
national insurance corporations."

"There exists stringent federal insurance fraud legislation,
and insurance companies have a vested interest in protecting
their assets.  They will investigate accordingly without our
involvement, and there's plenty of evidence.  I'm certain you
don't want them poking around.  Who knows what they'll find."

"It is hoped that learned counsel will convey to your client
the wisdom of avoiding such action.  The military, and Marines
in particular, know that if you occupy an untenable position,
it is best to relinquish that ground, reconstitute resources,
and then proceed with the mission."

"Regarding this one individual, if release is accomplished as
expeditiously as possible, the firm can pursue its endeavors.
Pull the plug, drain the nitrogen, call Florida, and fly him
to Ocala Airport.  Your client can claim to be reversing a
previous mistake made by a predecessor.  By so doing, he will
save the cryonics operation, and undoubtedly become a hero."

"It is hoped you'll see wisdom in this approach, because all
we seek is the release of one person, also a former Marine,
who should be honored and returned to the place he cherished."

.

Note:

The remains of Ted Williams should be provided to
Mark Ferrell (or his representatives) in Florida.

The above article was significantly modified from
the movie "My Cousin Vinny" 1992 with Joe Pesci and
Marisa Tomei who received an Oscar in her role for
dead-on-center courtroom testimony as Mona Lisa Vito.

Related issues of Fame Forum include:

"Natural and Supernatural,"
 Volume VIII, Number 04, January 24, 2005.
"Ted Williams' Disposition,"
 Volume VIII, Number 02, January 7, 2005.
"Daughter of Frankenstein,"
 Volume VII, Number 11, March 30, 2004.
"Off With Their Heads,"
 Volume VII, Number 09, March 12, 2004.
"Double Indemnity,"
 Volume VII, Number 08, March 6, 2004.
"The Heart of Darkness,"
 Volume VII, Number 07, February 28, 2004.
"Back to the Future,"
 Volume VI, Number 34, December 23, 2003.
"Cool Hand Luce,"
 Volume VI, Number 08, March 27, 2003.
"Inherit the Wind,"
 Volume VI, Number 07, March 11, 2003.
"Wag the Kid,"
 Volume VI, Number 05, February 10, 2003.
"You Only Live Once,"
 Volume V, Number 22, July 17, 2002.
"Theodore Samuel Williams,"
 Volume V, Number 20, July 5, 2002.
"Double Super Grand Slam,"
 Volume V, Number 09, March 29, 2002.
"Still the Kid Again,"
 Volume IV, Number 22, May 19, 2001.
"Catching Those Old Linesides,"
 Volume IV, Number 11, March 3, 2001.
"The Spy That Shagged Baseball,"
 Volume IV, Number 09, February 16, 2001.

.

__________________________________________

  NATIONAL WOMEN'S BASEBALL HALL OF FAME
             Richard C. Jaffeson, Executive Director
     PO Box 15282, Chevy Chase, Maryland  20825

                           HallFame@USA.com
                  http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame

         "National Women's Baseball Hall of Fame"
         is a registered trade name with the State
         of Maryland.  MD672265, October 19, 1998.

         Programs, articles, and contents presented
         herein are protected under provisions of the
         U.S. Copyright Office, Library of Congress.
         Fame Forum registrations are listed below:

TXU877085, TXU959430, TXU973266, TXU013972,
TXU986753, TXU949885, TXU004037, TXU022893,
 TXU026161, TXU047111, TXU050230, TXU061149,
TXU088068, TXU120937, TXU148132, TXU163784,
           TXU170668, TXU196853, TXU1211917.

       Copyrights(c), NWB Hall of Fame, 1998-2005
___________________________________________